Don’t Look Back, You’re Not Going That Way

This article is from George Magazine Issue 40, available now.

Everyday life happenings are training sessions to prepare us for growth.  There’s an adage stating – “We are 10% of what happens to us, and 90% of how we respond to it.” 

Don’t become stagnant.  Focus on continuing to learn; setting goals that are achievable; always searching for ways to inspire others.  These come only by small steps, but at least you will be moving forward. 

About a year ago, i was driving alone, I glanced in my rear view mirror, and noticed the car right behind me was riding my bumper. I reckon i thought if i kept tabs on it, i might could prevent them from plunging into me.  All of a sudden i looked straight ahead. The car in front of me had stopped. I almost rammed them in the back end.  

The perception of what was almost my demise, rushed into my head and heart. 

i was so preoccupied with what was behind me, i lost sight of what was in front of me. 

How many times do we do that in our everyday life? 

Being absorbed with the past could possibly cause the present to go unnoticed. 

We might even miss an opportunity to prevent a disaster in our life or someone else’s. 

Why?  Why was i so concerned with what was behind me?  I was dwelling on what the person following me might do, or how they might react, more so than what I was doing. 

I began to play this over and over in my head, how we do this with our lives.  

There is nothing that can be done about the past, so why live wrapped up in yesterday?

For years i had allowed thoughts of my past to take up residence in my thinking, to the point it would consume me.  But the reality of that near accident awakened me to the dangers of being mentally absorbed with the former things. 

2025 has been a challenging and tough year for many people.  Even within my own extended family. 

Our niece has been diagnosed with cancer.  A beautiful 45 year old young woman.  She married late in life and a couple of years later became the mother of a precious little girl, now 7 years old.  This precious soul is now struggling for her life. 

Why, is a word that has lingered in the hearts of her family.   How does husband and daughter start again? 

Another couple in our family set out on a new adventure in the corporate world.  They bought my husbands construction company.  Since day one it has been a struggle.  They know it takes time to adjust to new ownership, and even more so when the economy itself is trying to stay afloat. 

But in time I believe it will prosper and carry the family’s that it has for years now. 

One of the owners told me the other day – “I’m putting 2025 in the rearview mirror, and looking straight ahead.” 

But how?  How do we let go?  How do we move forward?  Which directions do we take? 

How do we shut the door on one year and open it to the next? 

A few days after my sons car accident that claimed his life, I was lying cross ways on my mothers bed, confused and questioning, trying to determine what was next for me as the mother who had just laid to rest her first baby that i nurtured for 16 years?  How do we move into another day as a family of 4 instead of 5? 

Looking into the days and weeks that lie ahead, seemed too overwhelming.  

But maybe steps, one at a time, that just might be an attainable goal.   

Moving forward is not about forgetting.  

It’s about learning how to incorporate the lessons learned into each new day ahead. 

The only chapter of previous experiences that i need to apply to today and carry into the future, is the knowledge i gained from them. 

Take the good and cultivate it. 

Take the bad, bury it, and grow from it. 

We cannot move forward, until we let go of the past, or at least make peace with it. 

??? 

We are all the same, in that God is the Creator of each one of us.  But we are different, in that there is no one like ‘us’.  If we were robots, we would all be the exact same.  But we are not robots.   

Just think about it. “   No one else on earth is like ‘you’. 

And each of us are given only one life, one opportunity to take it, live it, guard it, nurture it, and share it. 

God formed each of us, so who better to turn to, depend on, through each episode on this journey. 

He knew us before we were born.  That is such a comfort to know that this God loves us enough to not leave us when troubles come. 

Think about it; 

He was right in the middle of the fiery furnace with the three Hebrew children. 

He didn’t just rescue them, He walked through it with them.   

Not one hair on their head or clothing was singed.  They had not even the smell of smoke on them. 

WOW!!!  

He made us, so He knows best how to help us as an individual. 

What works for one may not be the remedy for another. This shows how special we are to Him, our Creator, our best friend, our Father. 

If you have not experienced the death of someone that held a huge piece of your heart; been abandoned by a spouse that you thought you would grow old with; been diagnosed with a terminal disease; lost your job and wandering how you will make ends meet; become homeless after holding a career in the high ranks; had a child to turn on you and tell you they hate you and do not want to ever see you again; watched a parent wrestle to remember who you are, who they are; lost your home and all the contents in a total loss house fire………..you may just be walking a tight rope.  

At any moment, your life could change drastically. 

For a time, when you are so overwhelmed and your vision is blurred,  God carries us.  Then the time comes, that we have to walk on our own. 

It’s like a baby taking their first step. 

it can be scary, maybe even terrifying.  Depends on the obstacle you are trying to overcome. 

It may even require starting over in some areas. 

But the path to life, where Jesus is, is narrow.  

So we wont wobble to the left or to the right, too far off the path. 

Stay with Him.  Seek Him.  Trust Him.  He is the light on the straight path. 

I do not believe in living in fear, but i do have a reverent fear of God. 

We are instructed in Psalm 3:6, to trust God and seek His guidance in our daily lives.  Not just when troubles come our way but in everything and at all times. 

The key is – we are to surrender our plans and desires to His sovereign Will.  To acknowledge Him and ask for wisdom in every aspect of our life. 

Our struggles, traumas, losses, are all a part of life, A chapter in our journey. 

Without them, there is no growth.  No story.