Stephen Colbert was unenthused by Tuesday’s discourse between Tim Walz and JD Vance.
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“The Late Show” went live Tuesday night after the vice-presidential debate.
Stephen Colbert found the debate boring, saying that JD Vance and Tim Walz “were both different flavors of dull.”
“JD Vance looked like a business lemur on beta-blockers, and Tim Walz was, you know, the old likable coach but appeared to be way overcaffeinated. I think the governor done overdid doing the Dew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It was the ultimate showdown tonight between two very different Midwestern vibes. Hillbilly vs. Minnesota nice; attack dog vs. folk hero; America’s dad vs. America’s ‘Dad, could you come pick me up? JD Vance just walked in here.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“These two men were both a heartbeat away from being interesting this evening.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“In the end, it was 90 minutes of constant talk that made one thing clear: Tonight was like having Thanksgiving with your most nervous uncle and your smuggest nephew. It was unpleasant, awkward and, thankfully, you only have to do it once every four years.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yep, people you’ve barely heard of on a national stage. Usually we call that ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“One of these men will lose, and we’ll never hear from him again, and the other one will become V.P. and we’ll never hear from him again.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“The only other V.P. debate anyone remembers is the time that fly got stuck on Mike Pence’s head. The bar is low.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“They showed each other a lot of respect. It was — it was very boring. I’ll be honest: I like these better with Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I don’t know that anyone’s vote was changed tonight. Watching a vice-presidential debate — it’s like taking your kids apple picking: About halfway through, you’re like, ‘OK, you know what? This sounded like it was going to be fun, but what’s the point?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I read that ahead of the debate, Tim Walz has been nervous that he was going to let Kamala Harris down. Yeah, Harris was like, ‘Don’t worry — if Joe Biden can be replaced, so can you.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The “Hold Your Breath” star Sarah Paulson faced off against Jimmy Fallon in a new game called “Mute!” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Ben Platt and Brandy Clark will perform their new song “Treehouse” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Robert Downey Jr. made his Broadway debut in Ayad Akhtar’s new play, “McNeal.”
