By Darrin Williams
Imagine five eighteen-year-old high school seniors camping outside on a chilly spring night at a famous football stadium in western Pennsylvania. Wearing hoodies and sitting on their sleeping bags, they are experiencing that which once was normal but not anymore in this day and age. They are playing cards, sharing funny senior year stories and playfully “razzing” one another. Munching on popcorn and pretzels, they order pizza and drink soda and coffee to help them stay awake throughout the night. The all-night social experience will be one of the many epic events for these high school seniors.
Furthermore, there are no cell phones causing distractions from the continual verbal and non-verbal interactions with each other. No selfies are being taken and posted during that night and early morning. The evening is characterized by jovial comradery amongst these five friends.
It was April of 1984 at Three Rivers stadium in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania. The concert for which the tickets were finally purchased after 12 hours of being entertained amongst themselves was Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA tour. One of those five high school seniors was me.
Yes, this is a nostalgic memory of mine, but this experience illustrates the many changes in our culture and differences between Americans living in 1984 and today. Why has life changed so dramatically in so many ways during these last forty years in America? Why do individuals not have these types of social experiences anymore in this country, moreover, in most countries of the world?
If you are telling yourself it’s because of technology, then you are correct. The explosive development, growth, and pervasive usage of all different types of technology have improved much of our life, yet they have come at a cost.
I tell myself that for many young men, age thirty is the new eighteen. Yet, I wonder why so many young men in their mid-twenties and even early thirties still live at their parent’s home and play video games all day, or maybe they work and then play video games for hours after work. This has been a progressive and pervasive pattern that I have seen develop in my thirty years of practice as a licensed psychotherapist.
The sociological development of the pervasive usage of technologies in most facets of life has caused many interpersonal and intrapersonal challenges for both men and women. The ripple effects of these dynamics have impacted most spectrums of society and our institutions. One of the resulting consequences and major life experiences for Americans is the emerging national crisis of feeling lonely and being in a perpetual state of loneliness. The lack of real and true social connection and intimacy has fueled this new emerging crisis. The effects of loneliness and its consequences are sweeping across America.
The most alarming of these consequences of this national epidemic of loneliness is the increasing national security threat and risk that it imposes upon our Republic. The threat and risk of espionage by our foreign enemies has always been a national security risk to our country. However, the advent of the internet in 1995 and the years of the development of the cyberspace world have brought a greater opportunity for our enemies to steal our military and national secrets. This is accomplished by grooming and manipulating the most emotionally vulnerable men and women in our military.
These foreign countries also prey upon the most vulnerable of America’s civilians. The primary method of espionage is accomplished by the enemy facilitating a deceptive relationship developed by means of cyberspace communication and the progression of a romantic relationship. Many individuals on the extreme right and extreme left are both psychologically and socially vulnerable to betraying our Republic. To venture in addressing these problems, we will explore what loneliness is, delineating the different types of loneliness.
Loneliness is a human response to being alone. God created humans for a longing and a need for relationships. Humans were made in the image of the triune God (Who eternally exists in relationship). Genesis 2:18 describes how Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden, and God said it was not good. Humans need both intimacy with God (vertical relationship) and intimacy with other people (horizontal relationship). Humans from the moment of birth seek attachment and connection. It is critical for the newborn to have healthy bonding and attachment interaction with its mother.
Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling of isolation. It is an uncomfortable feeling of being disconnected from other human beings. This leads people to feel alienated, with feelings of sadness and despair. There are distinct types of loneliness; we will consider three.
Situational loneliness is a response to physical or emotional separation. The experience of the death of a loved one, divorce, life transitions, and personal mobility are the most common causes of situational loneliness. Intimate relationships are severed, changed, or disrupted in some shape and form. This can lead to an intense longing which is not being met.
Emotional loneliness is a result of being emotionally separated from other people. Many people feel lonely when they are surrounded by people with whom they have little or no intimate connection. It is commonly said that the loneliest people are often in crowds. The feeling of being disconnected from other people increases sadness and despair.
Chronic loneliness is the type of loneliness that is sweeping across America, and it is this type of loneliness which presents a security threat and puts our nation at risk to hostile domestic and foreign actors. This type of loneliness can result from the persistent feelings of not belonging to a group or community. The chronically lonely person feels ceaselessly alone and isolated and has no hope of connection with other individuals.
Many of these people have social deficits and limitations in their social development and communication skills. This can potentially lead to deeper personal isolation and alienation. Thus, a collective group of men and women in this country are vulnerable to exploitation by others in the cyberspace universe.
Today there is an entire generation of men and women who were born after the inception of the Internet. Individuals who are between eighteen and thirty years old have largely grown up with this life-changing technology, some never learning how to communicate and socialize with one another without it.
Communication skills and social skills are developmental in nature. Many of the building blocks for developing and practicing these skills are presented to us in elementary, middle, and high school. They are thwarted or at the least hindered when a child or adolescent’s usage of social media is their primary means of communicating and connecting with friend and foe.
Relationships at any age of development require the basic skills of communication. These basic skills provide the means of initiating and enhancing relationships with peers. Society is experiencing an epidemic of weak relationships due to the lack of communication skills, for a whole generation of men and women do not know how to communicate in person-to-person interaction.
How does this relate to the national crisis of loneliness, in which approximately half of all Americans — especially younger adults — feel lonely? More specifically, how does this impact our national security as a nation? Simply put, our nation’s crisis of loneliness is a gold mine for foreign intelligence espionage agents.
Even Americans who only irregularly imbibe far right or far left ideology — such as when occasionally watching cyberspace podcasts — are potentially playing into the enemies’ playbook. Do they know whether hostile countries such as China, Iran, or Russia are funding and controlling (at some level) some of these podcasters? How easy would it be for a foreign actor to spew demagoguery and hate, stirring up all types of division with discord, lies, and propaganda?
How many people listen to podcasters who have information from “trusted yet unnamed” sources? Subsequently, some of these people produce podcasts of their own that use such unsubstantiated information, which may be filled with mis- or disinformation, perpetuating a perception and narrative begun by unverifiable “sources.” Thus, unreliable information freely flows “downstream” with minor alterations in content.
This dynamic is evident in content from creators of all sorts, whether they are on the continuum of the far right or the far left. America’s enemies excel at camouflage, cloaking themselves with a visage of truth when the reality is they are well-trained and practiced in the art of deception. Their webs of lies are spun specifically to ensnare non-critical thinking individuals who are not able to discern lies from truth. False narratives thus hold captive the unsuspecting and undiscerning.
Increasing numbers of military personnel have been deceived and manipulated by foreign actors while searching to attain meaningful relationships. The realm of cyberspace offers the opportunity to find romantic relationships, but the likelihood is that most connections made will turn out to be temporary or false. An invention of false intimacy can develop in cyberspace, encouraging romantic encounters to evolve into misplaced trust and relationships. The illusion is shattered when the true nature of the relationship and the identity of the persons involved are revealed to have been masked by deceit and secrecy. The minefield of romantic cyberspace relationships is strewn with such dangers.
Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter which floods the brain when an individual has a real or imagined pleasurable experience of thought and behavior. Our enemies intentionally design online “honey pot” experiences to fire off dopamine in the brains of their prey. It is just one of their many espionage methods, utilized with careful thought and planning. However, it is a favorite of both foreign and domestic enemies, from hostile as well as friendly nations, for the vintage practice of preying on an individual’s desires for romance and sex is as old as time: It is many a man’s weak link. Women’s too, for that matter.
Therefore, men and women alike who are susceptible to compromise in this area exercise poor judgment and act out on illogical and romantic fantasies. Many times, the scheme involves inviting the target to meet in a neutral country. Although the methods and means in this cyberspace age may differ from those used by enemy agents in past generations, the results are the same: Treason is committed, and the foreign enemy has accomplished its mission to attain privileged information that can seriously harm our Republic’s defense and security.
Thankfully, there is hope and a remedy for this national crisis of loneliness. Ultimately, chronic loneliness can be relieved by experiencing a personal relationship with our Creator, the Lord Jesus Christ. He alone is the Way, Truth, and Life. He is the true Light of this dark world, and He alone can fulfill the deepest longing for connection and intimacy that every human has.
Read and reflect upon the following Scriptures regularly:
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil, for our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, and in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance, and petition for all the saints.
(Ephesians 6:10-18)
Awesome article. I think you have identified the issues accurately.
GREAT article. So timely and absolutely spot on. Awareness is the first step. Thank you for your contribution to the Kingdom! There is freedom in Jesus!!!
Thank you Jenn!
Thank you JBick-I am happy you enjoyed the article.